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The Last Word: Hatewatch鈥檚 4th Annual Smackdown Awards

A skirt-chasing neo-Nazi huffs about the sexual mores of 鈥渢he Jews.鈥 An infamous Fox News personality predicts that one quarter of Americans will be starving come New Year鈥檚 Day. A Southern heritage group initiates a festive commemoration of the war that left more Americans dead than any other. A woman who took a walking tour of Auschwitz six decades after the Nazis ran it describes it as a luxurious and friendly work camp. All 鈥檙ound, it鈥檚 been quite a year on the domestic radical right, and our intrepid staffers have had quite a time keeping up with it all. But as we do every year, we鈥檝e hiked up our pants, put on our wading boots, and plunged into the sewers in an effort to bring you a hair-raising assortment of the very worst of the radical right in 2010. Here, with apologies to Keith Olbermann, is a countdown of the list dredged up by Hatewatch鈥檚 4th Annual Smackdown Awards Committee:

10. Black Kettle Award

We thought the relentless womanizing of neo-Nazi and former Klan boss was so well known, so notorious even in the white supremacist underworld, that he鈥檇 never have the effrontery to play the William Bennett of the radical right. After all, even , a one-time deputy of Duke鈥檚 in the Klan, has said, 鈥淲e used to tell people, 鈥榃hen Duke comes to town, make sure your wife is safely locked up and don鈥檛 let him near your daughters.鈥 Boy, were we wrong! This November, in a caterpillar-to-butterfly morph from skirt-chasing playboy to moralizing geezer, Duke through a video attacking 鈥渢he Jews鈥 and their 鈥渄ominant role鈥 in pornography, with a heavy focus on 鈥淪igmund SCHLOMO Freud鈥 (emphasis his, naturally). Although he鈥檚 gonna hate our color scheme, we just have to say it: David Duke is the sexpot calling the kettle black.

9. Most Decisive Solution to Promiscuity Award

We鈥檙e mightily sorry, of course, to concentrate so heavily on sex, but the radical right in this country seems absolutely obsessed with the matter. And so we come to the deep thinker , the wannabe historian at the virulently anti-gay who wrote last May: 鈥淗omosexuality gave us Adolph Hitler, and homosexuals in the military gave us the Brown Shirts, the Nazi war machine and 6 million dead Jews.鈥 Around the same time, Fischer came up with a to the pressing problem of promiscuity. Citing the biblical story of Phineas, who murdered a couple with a single spear thrust during the sexual act and so won God鈥檚 favor, Fischer said that 鈥淕od is obviously looking for more Phineases in our day,鈥 which is marked once again by 鈥渞ampant sexual immorality.鈥 But isn鈥檛 that a little, well, harsh? Not hardly, sayeth Bryan, who adds with a straight face, 鈥淚鈥檓 happy to serve humanity by increasing biblical literacy, one passage at a time.鈥

8. Dumbest Film Critics Award

When the film 鈥淢achete鈥 was released last fall, most critics, despite its virtuous-Mexicans-vs.-evil-gringo-vigilantes subplot, recognized it for what it was 鈥 Robert Rodriguez鈥檚 latest kitschy and ultra-violent exploitation film, spiced up with a few cartoonish references to contemporary political reality. But , which rose up on its collective hind legs in spluttering, outraged victimhood. 鈥檚 Alexander Hart howled that the film had an 鈥渁nti-white, anti-American, treasonous agenda.鈥 The white supremacist barked about the 鈥渁nti-white snuff film.鈥 of Americans for Legal Immigration PAC mewed that the film might provoke 鈥渕assive civil unrest,鈥 in which case he promised to 鈥渄emand that MACHETE be withdrawn from theaters.鈥 To hound-dog conspiracist , it was a 鈥減ro-immigration psy-op鈥 with 鈥渁n anti-gun message.鈥 Well, not really. As the New York Times鈥 Stephen Holder, recalling another grim threat identified by the right, wrote: 鈥淭he only viewers it is likely to upset are the same kind of people who once claimed that the purple Tinky Winky in 鈥楾eletubbies鈥 promoted a gay agenda.鈥

7. Most Misguided Celebrants Award

Most Americans know the Civil War as America鈥檚 bloodiest conflict, one that cost the lives of some 620,000 soldiers and 400,000 civilians and ultimately resulted in the laying to waste of the South. But not the Sons of Confederate Veterans (SCV), the Southern heritage organization that has been embroiled in recent years in between racial extremists and others. The SCV last August that as part of its sesquicentennial commemorations it would 鈥淐ELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF THE CONFEDERACY IN MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA鈥 on Feb. 19, 2011, with a parade up historic Dexter Avenue to the Alabama State Capitol. Yes, that鈥檚 the very same route taken by civil rights marchers in the famous 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery march, but the SCVers won鈥檛 be applauding civil rights. Instead, they鈥檙e there to ensure that the Confederacy is 鈥減ortrayed in the right way.鈥 What that means can be discerned from the fact that the SCV website promoting the event includes an essay from extreme-right Louisiana pastor Steve Wilkins, in Southern Slavery, As It Was that 鈥淸s]lavery as it existed in the South 鈥 was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence.鈥 Yep, it was pretty nice South in those days. And what鈥檚 not to like about slavery?

6. Most Pandering, Useless Law Award

The latest round of baseless attacks on Muslims began last summer with the so-called over an Islamic center proposed for Lower Manhattan, and was fueled by the likes of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who likened Muslims to Nazis. From there, it just went downhill. In November, legislators in Oklahoma meant to pander to the most mindless fearmongers out there 鈥 the people who just can鈥檛 quit claiming that Islamic 鈥渟hariah鈥 law is sneaking into the American legal system. In fact, this religious code has only come into play once in the U.S. courts 鈥 a misguided New Jersey judge refused to issue a restraining order against a Muslim man who forced his wife to have sex, as shariah law says is a husband鈥檚 right 鈥 and was immediately overturned on appeal. A whole string of real lawyers and legal scholars, disputing the absurd claims of propaganda mills like the Center for Security Policy, say the law has no point at all. 鈥淭alk of shariah law taking root in our country is just a way of stirring up nativist fears,鈥 said our own Richard Cohen, 澳彩开奖鈥檚 CEO. 鈥淚t would require throwing out the entire Constitution, including the Bill of Rights.鈥

5. Most Prurient Suspicions Award

A specter is haunting the far right 鈥斅爐he specter of photos of by the minions of Marxist/fascist/anti-Christ President Barack Obama. All the powers of the nutty extremists have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this specter: from Fox News鈥 to various anti-gay propagandists. It began with Beck worrying about the Z Backscatter Van, a mobile scanning device used by law enforcement to peer into parked tractor trailers and the like, and flowered with a Beck follower's warning that any 鈥淥bama regime bureaucrat鈥 could now end up salivating over 鈥渄ozens of photos鈥 of 鈥測ou and your family, totally nude.鈥 Then the Obama-wants-to-see-you-naked story morphed into an Obama-wants-to-feel-you-up narrative, with anti-gay activists like of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality warning that gay airport security officers will get 鈥渢urned on鈥 while patting down travelers of the same sex. The came courtesy of Eugene Delgaudio, a slightly mad Virginia county commissioner who concluded in December that new airport search procedures are motivated by the 鈥渉omosexual agenda,鈥 not terrorism. Delgaudio鈥檚 apparently a very brave man, facing down the sex-starved gays and all. 鈥淭he Homosexual Lobby鈥檚 lackeys in the media hate me,鈥 he whines. And about that, at least, Eugene Delgaudio is very likely right.

4. Biggest Scaredy-Cat Doomsayer Award

Ever wonder why Glenn Beck, kind of like House Speaker-Designate John Boehner, always seems to be crying? Maybe it鈥檚 because there鈥檚 so much scary, scary stuff happening out there 鈥 or maybe in there, meaning inside the nightmarish chamber that is Beck鈥檚 storm-tossed skull. Last fall, in a even for the connect-the-dots blackboard conspiracy theorist, the Fox News host warned his radio audience that he鈥檇 been talking to certain experts 鈥斅爃e refused to identify them, but said they were 鈥渙ur financial advisors 鈥 stat-related guys鈥 who are as qualified as a particular former U.S. comptroller general 鈥 who had warned him that a quarter of Americans could well be starving come Jan. 1. Then he went on to quote a bizarre little outfit that鈥檚 called the National Inflation Association (NIA) and predicts an 鈥渦pcoming hyperinflationary crisis,鈥 although virtually no serious economist agrees. The NIA says, on the basis of no one knows what, that two pounds of sugar will 鈥渟oon鈥 run you $62.21; a can of Folger鈥檚 coffee will go for $77.71; a Hershey鈥檚 chocolate bar will cost $15.50; and so on. Beck checked them out thoroughly, he reports, and has established that they are 鈥渃redible people.鈥 WAAAAH!!

3. Happiest Concentration Camp Award

That would have to be Auschwitz, which, despite what you may have heard, wasn鈥檛 really about Zyklon-B gas chambers, Dr. Josef Mengele鈥檚 twin experiments and unbelievable brutality from SS guards 鈥 at least if you believe one Caroline Yeager, a woman of apparently leaden stupidity. It seems that Yeager strolled through the Polish facility last year (more than 60 years after it was abandoned by the fleeing Nazis) and she鈥檚 pretty sure now that the tour guides, not to mention thousands of historians, witnesses and survivors, . Indeed, she says the camp where some 1 million Jews were murdered was really about 鈥渞eform, re-education and rehabilitation.鈥 Locals saw the place as 鈥渓uxurious,鈥 what with its 鈥渁ttractive red-brick sleeping quarters,鈥 鈥渂unk beds with mattresses,鈥 鈥渇lush toilets,鈥 鈥渢ree-lined鈥 streets, cultural events, sporting facilities, and more. Yeager鈥檚 sleuthing, which also disclosed that SS guards regularly socialized with inmates and even married them after the war, came to us early this year courtesy of , the infamous journal. Of course, Yeager did have an attitude even before she went a-touring: She writes on her blog about how she was 鈥渄rawn to National Socialism as a viable alternative [after] learning about its true nature as opposed to the lies I had been taught.鈥

2. Unlikeliest Gay Rights Activist Award

So you鈥檙e a group of conservative gays and lesbians in a political party that isn鈥檛 always too friendly toward you and you鈥檙e looking for a speaker. Who you gonna call? Well, if you鈥檙e GOProud, an organization that bills itself as representing 鈥済ay conservatives and their allies,鈥 the eyebrow-raising choice Ann Coulter, the right-wing author and who indeed did speak to the group鈥檚 鈥淗omocon鈥 gathering last September. Yes, that's the very same Ann Coulter who infamously called then-presidential candidate John Edwards a 鈥渇-----,鈥 prompting even reliable right-wingers like columnist Michelle Malkin to rebuke her for giving conservatives a bad name. The same one who described Al Gore as a 鈥渢otal f--.鈥 The gal who implied Bill Clinton was gay and who complained last February that a particular federal education official鈥檚 鈥渋dea of a good sixth grade field trip is to take the kids to the Tony Awards,鈥 given for excellence in theater. Not a problem, said Christopher Barron, board chairman of GOProud. 鈥淭he gay left has done their best to take all the fun out of politics.鈥 So if you must bash gays, do it like the woman who once proposed that America 鈥渒ill [Muslim] leaders and convert them to Christianity,鈥 leavening garden-variety hate medicine with a spoonful of fun 鈥渇--鈥 jokes.

1. Sleaziest Defense of Falsehoods Award

As the year began to peter out, the 澳彩开奖鈥檚 Intelligence Report released a study that sharply criticized a number of hard-line anti-gay groups on the religious right, saying that more than a dozen would be listed as hate groups early next year. As soon as word got out, Tony Perkins, leader of the Family Research Council (FRC), one of the groups we are listing, was invited to debate me on MSNBC鈥檚 鈥淗ardball With Chris Matthews.鈥 When our debate centered in on the FRC鈥檚 longstanding and completely false allegation that gay men molest children far more than heterosexuals, Perkins, in the very last moments of the show, asserted: 鈥淚f you look at the American College of Pediatricians (ACP), they say the research is overwhelming that homosexuality poses a danger to children.鈥 Well, Tony Perkins there. In fact, the ACP is a tiny group that broke away from the 60,000-member American Academy of Pediatrics because that group had endorsed gay and lesbian parenting. The whole episode reminded some of us of the Ninth Commandment: 鈥淭hou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.鈥

And that brings us, once again, to the end of this year鈥檚 edition of the Smackdown Awards (earlier editions are , and ). We wish our readers the very best of the holidays and a joyous and healthy new year. Over the next 12 months, we promise to stay on top of the radical right and its often horrifying denizens, if for no better reason that to once again be able to bring you, next December, the best of the very, very worst of American hate.

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