澳彩开奖

After all his predictions that the end of days was near, that a devious plot to subvert the Constitution was under way and that a ticking clock was counting down the last hours of America, the time has finally come for Glenn Beck to talk about real solutions.

After all, you can buy only so much gold. And you can鈥檛 eat it.

So what鈥檚 the average Joe to do when civilization comes apart at the seams? What do you eat when the ATMs don鈥檛 work anymore and there are no grocery stores open anyway? How do you get around town when you can鈥檛 buy gas to fill up the Hummer?

Well, you could throw yourself on the mercy of the jackbooted UN soldiers who 鈥� as part of President Obama鈥檚 sinister agenda 鈥� have come to install the totalitarian, communist, everything-bad 鈥淣ew World Order.鈥�

Or, more to Beck鈥檚 liking, you could learn the time-honored techniques of survivalism. As in: 鈥淭ake to the woods!鈥�

To help you along, Beck in January introduced a new, Internet-streaming reality show about nothing less than surviving the end of America.

At this point, you might ask: What can I learn about going 鈥渙ff the grid鈥� from a man that Forbes says is worth $85 million 鈥� a man whose media empire rakes in $40 million a year and who last year leased a lavish, 8,000-square-foot home in Texas for $20,000 a month, just after putting his $4 million Connecticut mansion on the market?

Maybe Beck can tell us how to home-harvest caviar from a hand-caught sturgeon. Or better yet, give us a treasure map to help find gold coins buried in the backyards of his former Fox News viewers.

Probably not going to happen. If Frank Belcastro has anything to do with it, the survivalist tradecraft featured on 鈥淚ndependence USA鈥� will be designed more for the little guy than for those who inhabit Beck鈥檚 gilded world.

鈥淭he shit is gonna hit the fan, and we need an exit strategy,鈥� says Belcastro, the bumbling Renaissance man with a strangely long mustache, as the first episode opens. 鈥淲hen everyone else is out there running around, trying to figure out how to survive, we鈥檙e gonna be ready.鈥�

And so, presumably will all the Beck fans who tune in to his GBTV (for just $9.95/month or $99.95/year!).

In one scene, Belcastro鈥檚 wife and daughter take a shotgun into the woods to shoot a wild turkey, while the men are out killing deer. (Editor鈥檚 note: Make sure to stock up on ammo BEFORE the collapse!) In another scene, Belcastro and his eldest son try to fashion a bow-and-arrow using the rusted springs of a truck. 鈥淭he way I got it figured,鈥� Belcastro says, 鈥渢here鈥檚 gonna be dead cars all over the road [and] metal like this is gonna be readily available to be scrounged.鈥� (It turns out that life in the post-civilized world is all about recycling.)

So begin the chronicles of a 鈥淧atriot鈥� everyman. The show represents the next logical step for Beck, who had turned during his final days at Fox News to warning about a secret United Nations plot to ruin the American way of life and, with the help of his trusty blackboard, to connecting dots all the way to the liberal billionaire George Soros. For Beck鈥檚 viewers, the end was near 鈥� night after night. Nothing, it seems, has changed. Except the end seems even nearer than it ever was.

So is Beck, ever the doom-for-dollars entrepreneur, cynically exploiting the deep-seated fears he helped instill in a certain segment of the public?

Perhaps. But maybe 鈥淚ndependence USA鈥� is just plain entertainment.

Regardless, the reviews have been poor. Time magazine has said the show is 鈥渁s interesting as a cup of Ovaltine at bedtime.鈥� That鈥檚 a bit harsh. It might be better to say the show is akin to watching the Outdoor channel peppered with a bit of crazy.

Belcastro has an answer for that kind of talk. 鈥淚鈥檓 not crazy,鈥� he says. 鈥淚 know the world鈥檚 not ending tomorrow, but you know what? I鈥檓 not taking any chances. My family and I are going to learn to fend for ourselves, just like our parents, our grandparents, and our great grandparents did. For us, everyday will be Independence Day, even if it kills us.鈥�